Ever done a juice cleanse? I’ve done a few, and I’ll do some more– or at least my version of the DIY juice cleanse. I love the idea of a juice cleanse and the apres juice cleanse effects are fantastic, but the process can be grueling. If you’re one of my fellow members of the Instant Gratification & Oral Fixation Society, we tend to have more challenges and teeth-grinding on the juice cleanse. But- remain optimistic and enthusiastic at the start. Here are my juice cleanse How-To’s and Bites of Reality:
Make several bottles or thermoses of the Green Base Juice.
- 2 cups of organic lemonade- store bought
- 2 cups of raw, baby spinach
- 2 cups of raw, baby kale
- 1 golden delicious apple — diced
- 2 scoops of Vitamin C powder- I use Caties’ Whole Food Vitamin C Plus
- 1 scoop of Chia seeds
Blend all of the above together in your blender and then store in your containers in the fridge.
Make a Blender Full of a Fruit-Protein Smoothie
- 1 cup of frozen berries
- 3/4 cup of coconut milk- I use vanilla flavored
- 2 scoops of vanilla whey protein powder
- 1 scoop of Vitamin C powder
- 2 scoops Greens Powder- my favorite is Catie’s Organic Greens
- 1 tablespoon of Barleans’ Omega Swirl Fish Oil- mango peach flavor
- water as desired
I have this smoothie in the morning.
After you’ve had the Fruit-Protein Smoothie, alternate the green juice with a diluted organic lemonade all day and even all night if you’re good. Do the juice cleanse as long as you can stand it. Your body will have had the benefit of more greens than it ever has. The hunger pangs and mouth-watering will show you how addicted we are to carbs, sugar, and crunchy snacks. They are always waiting for you, but you might feel like minimizing them after a cleanse.
My 50 and Fabulous Approach to the Juice Cleanse
My approach to DIY juicing is very chill and loose. I can only last 48 hours first of all and I’m just too old to follow each rule to the letter, and I always cheat. This is why I do juice cleanses– I cheat. And they are short.
I just get plain hungry– hunger pangs and all- when I don’t have solid food cycle through my mouth to my stomach. My hunger pangs are gut clenching and relentless. I visualize them as Death Eaters racing from my brain to my stomach. You people who don’t get them . . . well–I try to love you mid-cluching hunger pang in hopes that I’ll win Most Improved Karma some day.
So I try to do a Mexican standoff with the hunger pangs, and then my mouth craves a pretzel cracker like a vicious shark circling an aimless school of fat cod. I chug the lemonade- water at this point, or even have another green juice. Then my 3-kids-shy-bladder wines and I go to the powder room for the 5th time. So, when I cheat usually have 1 of the following:
- 1/2 tablespoon of organic, soupy peanut butter
- 1 pretzel chip
- 1/2 of a dark chocolate single wafer
- Afternoon Espresso with a dash of cream (immediate mood elevator)
- Evening- A short, but perfect vodka, soda, and lime (a potato is a root vegetable after all!) And I’m proud to say I’m far too old to quit drinking altogether.
- Morning Coffee with a dash of cream
So for your All or Nothing, or Black and White sorts– most of you are way under 50 anyway– juicing with some cheating is far better than no juicing at all. This is the long term view that those of us with some age have earned.